I have not always been the most successful person with relationships, but one realisation that I have had is that just to fall in love is not enough. Part of my history is being the rescuer: I can fix things, I can do things to help you in order to save you from your chaos. That is something I have been aware of and been working on for many years.
I was brought up to think that in a relationship you do everything for your partner, one could almost say, without question. However, I believe in any relationship we should find that middle ground where we can learn to collaborate 
with one another. So that middle ground becomes a place where we both have a voice and a meeting place where we can communicate our difficulties, create an emotional structure so that the love we feel for one another does not get swamped in misunderstanding etcetera.
However, what happens when we begin to cross a line and take responsibility for our partners, families and friends own chaos, where we try to fix it for them. Is that our responsibility or is that the role we have given to ourselves? When we do that could these people then become dependent on our voice? If we cross that line I believe that we create an emotional dependency, such is human nature. Often in my own experiences of crossing that line the person that I have tried to help at the end of the day have not appreciated it, because what I have tried to do has simply not come from their own truth.
Love is a connector, it brings people together in many respects, if it is worked at in an intelligent way, without demand or the need for payback: “If I give this to you, you must give this to me”. With each challenge each relationship offers I think if handled correctly, it can open new doors whereby love can receive many forms of nourishment. I can liken it to working with the spirit world. I have worked with them for many years and it has amazed me that quite out of the blue a door has opened, because I had a willingness to meet them halfway. Yes, I have had tough days with them and I have not always understood what they have been trying to point out about me. Quite often I initially have been quite reluctant to make the changes within myself, but when they give something that is quite unexpected in the end it always gives me a moment of joy.
Is it not that what is so important in working on the relationship with a partner, family member or friend, instead of just looking at the negative aspects when they rare their ugly head and get stuck in those kinds of mind-sets? I feel it is vital to be able to return to that middle ground, with love and acceptance, to find a way forward that can offer solutions in
order to take any sincere relationship to a higher consciousness enabling that love to expand.
Love is just like a wildflower, enjoy its’ beauty, but do not try to change that it. The wildflower has found its element that is why it chose that place, that relationship, to sow its’ seed. It follows the laws of nature and just as the flower then spreads its’ seeds allowing more flowers to grow, true, unconditional love will spread additional seeds of love. Therefore we should not tamper with love. When we create a middle ground and meet one another in love we will sow seeds that will allow love to expand – just like wildflower.
/Terry Evans
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