Terry Evans – Love, how does that garden grow?

I got married again at the age of 67, and if people had told me a few years earlier that I was going to do so, I would never have believed them. At that time, I felt I was in a vacuum in my life, but then I met my wife to be; Astrid. The vacuum then disappeared. I did not recognize initially what this feeling was. It was like an instant recognition that I could not identify. We both have strong personalities, but the amazing thing is that with each step we have taken, we have learned to meet one another at the middle road whereby allowing the power of compromise to work its magic. The love that we feel for one another continues to grow, enabling us to move forward with our relationship. It takes us into another room within our relationship, and shows that if we furnish this room together and give it colour, it can only expand and enlighten us. That is why this marriage is one of the most interesting journeys I have taken in my life. It is unlike any previous relationship I had had prior to meeting Astrid. With each step we take, we have discovered that the balance between us brings more harmony, and that in itself makes our bond stronger. We have realised too that it has given us new tools to work with, that we never had before.

I now understand the feeling that I did not recognise when I first met Astrid, it was love, the magnet that binds us together. The purpose of this love is a love without demand, without conditions. The nice thing is that within our marriage, there is more room for both of us to express and show who we really are. Now the vacuum has disappeared, it can be likened to when you walk into a garden that you have been neglected; it needs to be cultivated. The earth itself requires nourishment in order for new things to grow. What kind of seeds does it require? I think it needs the seeds that will allow us as individuals to express our truth, to share our fears and to encourage one another to grow. Knowing when it is time to step back and support and to encourage one another to become who we truly are. Of course, with any garden, there are sunny days and there are cloudy days. At times one can think that the sun has disappeared and we have been forgotten. However, before you know it, the rain comes to give nourishment to the garden and the sun starts to shine again!

What a journey, what an adventure! For two souls to join together and make a promise to themselves and to God that they want to be together until death do them apart. I certainly do not want to be without her now, because it has opened my heart and taken me to places that I never thought existed. Wherever this journey takes us, I am certain it will take us to new horizons that will offer new challenges. There will always be rivers to cross and mountains to climb, and there will always be times when we look at one another and say: “Will we overcome this obstacle?” However, marriage is not just about romance, it is about two human beings who want to share and give to one another, so they can make that journey together. Without challenges, how could this garden grow? It would not. It would become a place that is arid; where nothing will blossom and where the soil will become dust which will be picked up by the wind and carried away. It is so sad to see people who love one another, who somehow have lost their way and separate, because of different trials and tribulations. They could not find that middle road that would have been able to take them further.

I believe that a partnership, where two souls have connected, will be continuous. These souls can find that middle ground. This is a journey that I want Astrid and I to share together. This is my commitment to my soulmate. Every journey has a beginning, but does it have to have an end? I have no idea what the future will bring or offer, but my wish is that we can go on this journey one day at a time. For me, this has been one of the most interesting journeys I have ever made, because the love I feel now is real. I think what makes it real is the passion of two souls, the wish to be companions, remembering the importance to give and to take.

The garden of love: When you plant the right seeds, it will give back to you a thousand fold. For me, that is spirituality working in progress.

/Terry Evans

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